Online Dating Reviews: JDate

I’ve found JDate to be an easy way to meet a lot of (somewhat) pre-screened women in a short period of time.  I have participated in two “rounds” of JDating, each for a period of two months at a time, and went on a total of 40 dates during the aggregate 4 months.  While it is my personal favorite, it’s important to note off the bat that JDate is, as far as I know, the most expensive dating site out there, currently charging $39.99 per month for a month-to-month membership.  I was reluctant at first, given my frugal nature, to plunk down enough to buy two 30-packs for an experiment that offered no guarantee of success.  Equally relevant is that I am, in fact, Jewish, as opposed to being a goyim that simply has a fetish for Jewish women.  This is not to say that Jdate is exclusively for Jews; I came across many profiles of African-American, Latina and Asian women who made it clear on their profiles that they were not Jewish themselves, but were interested in dating a guy that is.  Ultimately, it was a good experience and I have no regrets.  Very few, anyway.

From a strategic standpoint, my advice on approaching jdate is a lot like the approach of any respectable salesperson; it’s a numbers game.  If you electronically flirt with 10 hot women, you may not get any to reply.  If you do so with 100, however, you are mostly likely going to get one to bite.  My favorite means of “blasting” the JDate community of hot women is using the “flirt” function, where all you have to do is click on a pre-written message and it will be sent to your target.  Some of them are horribly cheesy, but I found that “I’d like to start up a conversation, can I write you sometime?” works well.  Another effective tactic is to initiate an IM chat with every girl that looks appealing.  9 out of 10 will either “go offline” or flat our reject your chat, but eventually someone will accept, and there doesn’t seem to be a limit to the number of chat windows you can have open if pursuing this tact.

I’m getting ahead of myself, though.  You first need to set up your profile, and you better not fuck that up.  Put a little thought into choosing your screen name, and try to find the right balance of wit and charm.  “ImtheJew4You” might sound funny at first, but c’mon – it isn’t.  Think more along the lines of “PuppyLovingIbanker.” Next, you should upload the full number of photos allowed in your profile.  Not doing so would be suspicious (as in, you’re actually a fat ugly son of a bitch that only managed to take a decent photo at your sister’s wedding 7 years ago).  Which reminds me, you should have your shirt ON in every photo.  Don’t worry too much about the text of your profile.  No one really reads it, and the crap that people write is generally BS.  The fact that you tried yoga once doesn’t make you a “yoga enthusiast.”  The litmus test for a good profile is that you would not be embarrassed to show it to a male friend.  Another good approach is to have an un-biased female friend (that you’ve never slept with) write your profile for you.

Ok, so now you’ve got your strategy, you’ve got your profile set up, how do you convert this into a real-life girl on your couch?  First, women rarely seem to be interested in guys their own age.  Flirt with whomever you want (numbers game), but you are most likely to land an actual date with a girl that is 3 to 4 years younger OR older than you.  To generalize a bit, the younger woman is looking for someone with an established career (rea

Courtesy of my_lido_baybee

d: higher salary) to be her boyfriend, and the older woman probably just wants to have a fling with a younger guy while she holds out for her older boyfriend that will have an even higher salary.  It’s also important not to appear too overly eager.  My formula for success is 3 or 4 Jdate emails or IM sessions, one or two emails to your “real” personal email addresses (once you’ve established real names), and then perhaps, one phone conversation, if you think it’s necessary, prior to meeting in person.  These pre-meeting mating rituals are not only for the purposes of “wooing,” but also to verify whether or not your girl is going to be too annoying to sit through a $9 glass of wine with.

Once on the actual date, you’ll know within 10 minutes whether this is going anywhere.  Common hurdles you’ll come across are: she won’t look like her pictures (at least not anymore), she disses your choice of venue for the date, or simply that conversation isn’t flowing.  If you find yourself in this situation, ride it out for that first drink, and only order a 2^nd round if you feel uncomfortably socially obligated to do so.  You do have to pay for the entire first date by the way, which is why I recommend only doing drinks for a first date and not an actual meal.

If things go well, you need to gauge for yourself whether this woman is wifey material, or prime candidate for a one night stand.  If the former, a romantic (i.e. not sleazy or gropey) kiss at the end of the date is good form, but don’t try to take her home.  If the latter, throw caution to the wind and see what happens!  You can always go on EHarmony if it doesn’t work out.