Sure, she looks pretty good through beer goggles in dim lighting. Her hair is straightened, her makeup is perfect, her shoes and bag clearly cost her a month’s salary. But would you really want to date her after tonight? Here are the Frugal Bachelor’s top six signs that you are dealing with a high-maintenance girl:
1. Mommy and Daddy pay her rent. I know we are arguably still in a recession, so this bullet point is not meant to berate those fresh out of college that have yet to start their career, or those temporarily in-between jobs for reasons beyond their control that are getting a little help from the fam. I’m referring to those girls that ARE employed, have been steadily so for many years and STILL have their parents pay for their doorman-building apartment. Who do you think she will expect to pay for everything that can’t be charged to Daddy’s credit card? YOU, and it ain’t gonna be cheap.
2. She’s wearing a pearl necklace. Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about an actual string of oyster-harvested pearls hanging around her neck. If it’s not a very formal occasion, this can and should be construed as “I’m used to the finer things in life, and good luck trying to impress or please me without dropping a pretty penny.”
3. Her sole form of transportation in NYC is taking a taxi. All the time. There is a time and a place where taking a cab is simply the most efficient way from Point A to Point B, regardless of the fact that you could hypothetically travel for free on your unlimited metro card (in the sense that you’ve already paid for the month and one more trip isn’t costing you any additional scratch). However, if she commutes back and forth to work every day by taxi, she clearly doesn’t have a grasp on the value of a dollar.
4. She’s a name-dropper. Unless she randomly ran into Derek Jeter at Starbucks this afternoon, I see no need for someone to force the introduction of an acquaintanceship with a celebrity into the context of a conversation. Even worse, if she only refers to the celeb by first name (i.e. “I can’t believe what Paris was wearing at that party last night…”) – run for cover.
5. She’s unnecessarily rude to restaurant staff. It’s one thing to send back a raw pork chop that is threatening you with trichinosis, but if she cops an attitude with the waitress for being “prettier than her,” that spells trouble. If a girl has never worked in a restaurant in her life, or at the very least doesn’t have good friends that currently do, you are in for ongoing pain and embarrassment every night you spend out on the town with her.
6. She uses seasons in the form of a verb, (i.e. “I’m summering in the Hamptons”). I gotta admit that I’m stealing this one from a friend that dropped it into an email thread at a choice moment, but it’s very true. If she has enough time off to “winter” somewhere, she just may be opposed to staying at a Motel 6 on that road trip that you are planning. Unless you are ready to pony up for The W whenever you leave town, she is NOT the one.
What have we missed? How do YOU determine if a girl is high maintenance?
Frugal Bachelor has been helping guys get laid on the cheap since April 2010. Based in Manhattan, the site provides lifestyle advice to twenty-something men everywhere on how to get the girl without taking out a cash advance on your Visa card (which, by the way, is one of the worst things you could ever do.) Frugal Bachelor is more than just one man — it’s a way of life. 
Totally agree with point #5 – that drives me insane.
Other ways to tell a girl is high maintenance and how to handle it:
- if you see a popped collar; run
- if you see ANY ARTICLE OF CLOTHING from Vineyard Vines; run fast
- if she drives a BMW, yet works as an “executive assistant,” make sure you have your wallet and run
- fake tits on display (also called T.O.D.s), its one thing to have fake boobs, its another thing to have them falling out of her top, motor boat them titties and run
- if she takes her own picture a lot making a “kissy” face, punch her in the face, and run.
- CONSTANTLY updating facebook status/ and or twitter. if she has both facebook and twitter and is posting different things on each, run.
- if she doesn’t put her phone down long enough at dinner to eat the salad she’s about to go throw up, smack the phone out of her hand, and run.
- if she is always looking around the room to see who else is there or if anyone is looking at her, run.
- if she can’t walk past a reflective surface without glancing at it, oh my god run away fast. If she stops to check her hair, just keep walking.
- frame-less sunglasses, a la J-Lo. 100% guaranteed high maintenance.
- If, at a restaurant, she chooses bottled water over tap, you better break it off quickly, or you are fucked. Now, this is different from ordering Pellagrino, which even I enjoy from time to time, but if she takes Poland Spring or GODFUCKINGFORBID Fiji water over NYC tap water, kiss your ass goodbye.
Thats all I could come up with off the top of my head, I’ll be back later with more.
if she looks like she applies her make-up with an 8 inch spackle knife, not only is she high maintence, but she’s also a shroud (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Shroud). That and you will want to hurt yourself when you see what she looks like after all that make-up gets smeared off.
If her miniature dog’s apparel cost more than what you spend on food over the duration of a week, run.
here’s a high maintenance sign… how loud do her shoes clack when she’s going anywhere?… does she use extra force at every step to make the clacking sound louder, thus calling attention to herself?